1. Take and hide Integra's cigars.
2. You can hide Alucard's guns too.
3. Take Walter's wires and run while screaming, "I have the Dental Floss of Death!"
4. Compare Integra with a man, out loud with other people in the room.
5. Pull Pip's eye patch and release it while he's still wearing it.
6. Hum "He's a pirate" whenever you pass by Pip.
7. Give fangirls the address of Hellsing and make them attack Alucard.
8. Show Integra pictures of her and Alucard or any other pairing. Including yuri.
9. Dye Alucard's clothes pink. Yes you can do his hair too, maybe his guns.
10. Put leaves on Father Anderson and call him Anderplant.
11. Write 'English sow' on Integra's forehead while she's sleeping.
12. Force Alucard in girl's clothes and call him Girlycard.
13. Prank call Integra.
14. Push Alucard making him land on Pip and shout, "Yaoi!"
15. Lock Alucard in a room filled with fan girls.
16. Blow up half of the manor and blame it on Seras.
17. Put a fart pouch on Integra's seat before she sits